Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
olliec 0
Smart kid. haha
Soup_fml 0
Now I have this image in my head of a little girl waking up to find a decapitated fairy under her pillow.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
spotty313 0
that is hilarious!
aback 5
Okay. So tell her she's killed the Tooth Fairy and will get no more money for losing teeth. Furthermore, no other kid will get money, either, and they'll all be waiting to kick her ass.
lostfaithinpppl 19
YDI for feeding your kid fairy tales. #41 and #42 I agree with both of you. OP, you have a very disturbed child.
firakkai 0
haha, the daughter reminds me of when i was seven years old. i made a trap for "santa claus" by setting up a simple trip wire on the doorway in front of my stocking....ah, good times.
bullfuckingshit 0
this isnt a FML.... i dont see it that way... your kid is brilliant. keep encouraging this kid's thinking. most ppl would tell them to stop, and then the kid would get discouraged. nothing is worse than killing somone's creativity, because that's how we go forward in society: someone thinks of something no one thought of before..
turdburgers 0
You really don't grasp the concept of FML, do you?
FerrariCake 2
Why didnt you make a little fairy doll and throw it into one of the mousetraps? Then your kid would have found the "tooth fairy" dead with her little neck snapped. That would have taught your kid an important lesson. What exactly? I don't know. Although your story does beg the question... how did your 6-year old get mousetraps and know how to set them?
FerrariCake 2
Or... you could have taken the tooth and left a note written in glittery "fairy writing" that said "NICE TRY BITCH! KEEP YOUR OWN DAMN TEETH FROM NOW ON!"
mollytamale 1
Hahahahahahahaah! My new favorite fml!!
darkmis1 18
That kid is a genius!