Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML
Today, I carefully wrapped my nephew's birthday present so it would look perfect. He thanked me, pushed it aside, and spent the next two hours pretending the empty cardboard box was a spaceship. FML
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML
Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
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Top comments
sharsharbinks 0
I love this one! I laughed so hard!
killer_corn 0
I don't take crap from kids. I would of destroyed the Green ones.
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Comments (556)
erinoty 0
Oh god xD I wish i knew this kid. Thats such a great comeback. Im still laughing. This isint really a FML Its more of a, i know a awesome lil kid. Except, i suppose he should be diciplined. Or he'll be hell when he's older.
o_x_fml 7
...no comment. XD
Black_Letter 19
Wait a minute, you just commented "no comment". PARADOX
SuperSpore 0
Seriously, someone needs to teach this kid some manners. If it's spanking or not, they just need to get the manners taught to him. I'm 12 and I'm still to afraid to say a cuss word, or something similiar to a cuss word, and I haven't been spanked in over 2 years. Someone seriously needs to teach him manners.
_xandria_ 0
OMFG LMFAO!!!!!! THATS HILARIOUS! I'M SERIOUSLY LAUGHING MY ******* ASS OFF!! LMAO!!! HAHA..phew...
yanarach 0
No one should have ever. ever. ever. used that kind of language around him. Any one who swears around a child deserves a horrible punishment. It's not the kids' fault though :
AnnaSeptic 0
Hahahaha that's awesome. But why's everyone saying he should be hit? He probably doesn't even know what it means.
24788 7
Lol, the kid got jokes.
itzdashit 0
GOLD
Black_Letter 19
I have Crystal version, the older versions like Gold and Crystal are way more fun than these crap newer versions.
birkenstocks 0
That is so terrible! But it's the funniest thing I've heard all day. Love it
wrestler17 0
Wow I'm only seventeen, but seriously kids nowadays, where is the time for innocence and not to mention time to learn manners. It's sad because when you hear about kids and the media exposing them to things younger and younger you think teenagers like fourteen years old or something, but no it's reaching the really little kids who are seeing this and are trying to act like teenagers and kids in college, I'm not saying it's like this with all kids but far to many and kids are just that much more spoiled and bratty than ten years ago.... It really does make my stomach turn, whatever happened to trading pokemon cards? That underground trade use to be the biggest thing weighing in on kids minds when I was eight. And no I was not perfect when I was that age nor am I now nor are/ were the other kids my age