Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML
Today, I carefully wrapped my nephew's birthday present so it would look perfect. He thanked me, pushed it aside, and spent the next two hours pretending the empty cardboard box was a spaceship. FML
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML
Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
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Top comments
sharsharbinks 0
I love this one! I laughed so hard!
killer_corn 0
I don't take crap from kids. I would of destroyed the Green ones.
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Comments (556)
jiequals3 0
Give that kid some cake. He deserves it!
mayhembaby 0
THI S IS THE FUNNIEST ******* FML THAT I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED!
My2864 1
WHAHAHA xD
persephone13 0
ROFL...kids learn some crazy things at school. Or from dad. :P Not so much a FML, but a Fyour brother/sister's life. At least you get to leave and laugh all the way home...I sure would.
obviousxo 0
hahaha my fav. (:
ladedum 0
i laughed but then i admitted to myself that had that been me, i'dda given the little shit something to shut the **** up about. lols buuuuuut thats js me.
rhe_b 0
#9 ur hilarious hahha this is funny kids are great
Emmett_Luver_101 0
164...your weird as for the poster, i find this hilarious but i would have took his play doh martians and stepped on them, then i would have said "now its squished martian!
WildBill1337 0
kid needs an old school whipping. sad that our society is too pamered for that now.....
katherinebby17 28
this made me laugh so hard but thats crazy that he speaks that way