Today, my 5-year-old cousin came over. We were on the trampoline in my backyard when he fell off and started crying and screaming. While I was trying to comfort him, my mom came out yelling at me for "pushing him off the trampoline" and grounded me for a month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, I was on a friend's trampoline trying to convince my mom that trampolines are safe and we should get one. While telling her, I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML
Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML
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Top comments
pelletman67 16
Do you have a track record of being mean or something?
Dave_Davington 34
You shouldn't let people push you around like that.
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Comments (16)
Ciela 22
tell he no you didn't. that's so unfair and why a month, that's just extra
Dave_Davington 34
You shouldn't let people push you around like that.
Benkő Máté 4
Everyone is innocent, until proven guilty. Ask her for proof, that you commited the act, that she is accusing you with. Don't let yourself suffer for something that you didn't commit.
species4872 20
Everyone is innocent, until proven guilty......That is a very novel notion, too bad it's not like that in practice. Even if proven innocent the accusation will always stick.
kimiks 5
She is his mother, not a judge.
Nova Solarius 10
@kimiks: OP's most likely a she, judging by the name.
pelletman67 16
Do you have a track record of being mean or something?
Lobby_Bee 18
Five year olds are incapable of getting themselves hurt now? Your mom needs to check herself.
Dave_Davington 34
...Before she wriggedy-wrecks herself?
tolkien897 15
my dad used to do that kind of thing all the time.
Zachary8261 28
She didn't supervise nor used a net with the trampoline. She's the one to blame here.
Icyghost17 10
I know how that feels. My sister walked behind me while I was on a swing before, not paying attention, and I collided with her. My mother ended up hitting me for "hurting" her.
Starlight8 14
I hate those kind of a parents. Trust me I've been there.
Dipankardole 7
sad