Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML
Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML
Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML
Today, despite not having noisy kids, barking dogs or do I play loud music, yet apparently I still cause enough noise by walking around and watching TV that the neighbours called the cops with a noise complaint. The cops actually came. Since when is living quietly in my own home a police matter? FML
Today, the neighbor's dog has been barking for over 5 hours. It is barking directly at my window. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
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Top comments
klol_fml 11
The neighbours must be barking mad if they think you have a dog.
kAPISH 29
Bark at them like it were you all the time.
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Comments (68)
U_GotitDude 18
What if you sound like a dog when you snore 0.o FYL OP
klutz44 28
Or during sex
sparklypumpkins 13
Haunted?O_o
chocolateisyum 12
Is your house haunted. Either that or one of your neighbours has a secret puppy breeding laboratory in their basement...
cmbar831 14
Time to get a dog OP
Enslaved 38
They're barking up the wrong tree. Unless those were your sex noises? ;)
RedPillSucks 33
Then he should feel proud that he was gettin' it on frequently enough to annoy the neighbors.
perdix 31
#35, could have just been masturbation :(
Pharmgrl03 9
Only one thing to do here.. Lay in the fetal position in your living room floor until they go away.
ulissey_fml 22
At least, they are not telling you off for keeping a pet owl !!
MWidderAUDI 14
would like to hear more about this.
Kalipczo 21
I know a guy who barks in his sleep...
rhysfucker 24
Does your significant other have a collar and a leash in the top dresser drawer? Do the noises only happen when you're not home? Just sayin'...
jellyghost 12
Perhaps you misheard dog instead of "you" and bark instead of "bitch".