Today, it's the 8th day in a row that my mother-in-law has made me drink laxative tea. I still haven't pooped yet and I'm terrified of what's to come. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML
Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
UltimateBob 11
What's to come is the hospital, because 8 days is long enough to be a sign of something seriously wrong
VeryTiredMomof3 17
Go see a doctor?
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Comments (32)
VeryTiredMomof3 17
Go see a doctor?
UltimateBob 11
What's to come is the hospital, because 8 days is long enough to be a sign of something seriously wrong
Jatok 17
It's beyond me how you could go that long without a visit to the doctor or hospital.
ChristinePi 36
The rule of thumb I was told of you don't poop on the fourth day it's best to see a doctor.
Yudith 28
Stop drinking the "laxative" tea. Since when do you trust a mother-in-law?
MidnaLink 35
Believe it or not, some people's MIL aren't so bad.
writergirl1029 17
Yeah, my future MIL is awesome.
mandybee 12
Hi! Try fiber one bars or fiber chewable vitamins. I have had this issue before, and this is what the doctor said. Good luck!
Samir1stdude 7
flush often. I been there. you do not want a clogged toliet.
hammy55126 0
Hey, everybody. I'm actually the one who posted this. I finally did go, and I won't go into detail about that...but just the clear the air (no pun intended) I just got out of the military and my insurance was still being set up. Hence why I had the tea instead of the hospital. But everything is better now! Thank you all for the concern.
mermaidgirle 12
Friendly advice from someone who's struggled. Miralax is magic. My doctor recommends it; it's gentle enough for daily use if you need the regulatory, but still effective. And it's available over the counter. Good luck!
TallMist 32
Glad it has gotten better for you
Allayyyyy194 6
Seriously, you could have an obstruction of the bowel... this sounds really serious
Douglas E. Berry 5
Yeah, people die from what you are describing. Get to an emergency room! Or at least call your doctor immediately!