Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML
Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML
Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML
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Top comments
Nathan_Henry 15
It's the thought that counts
Tripartita 45
Really, there's no better way to celebrate life than to have it jeopardized in a house fire. If this caused your life to flash before your eyes, just think of it as a commemorative slideshow on your special day!
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Comments (26)
Nathan_Henry 15
It's the thought that counts
teentee401 37
Who pissed in your cereal, #7?
mystam4 17
yes, & the insurance lol
moodyreallyrocks 27
Wow appreciate the effort though..
CFL13 12
That sucks
TheGamerXYZ 19
I guess this birthday is lit
Tripartita 45
Really, there's no better way to celebrate life than to have it jeopardized in a house fire. If this caused your life to flash before your eyes, just think of it as a commemorative slideshow on your special day!
holly_fly 34
And with this comment, you are one of the greats, at least in my book. XD
anlong93 9
#Tripartita2016
bradleybaldwin 9
Even though it is the thought that counts, what an unfortunate Mother's Day. Fyl
CheeseClown 1
*birthday*
TweetAnne 13
Happy birthday to your mom. It's my mothers birthday today as well and I made a full dinner without burning the house down.
may14th 26
Try blowing that out and making a wish!
SasukeKun 16
At least they tried.
Dreamer_in_Time 22
That's sweet of them, but I'm sure that having a house-sized bonfire isn't your present of choice!