Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Top comments
skinthesnakes 6
Did you not "wand" it?
apache316 6
Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.
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Comments (397)
d_unsub 12
I think it is time to start dating kids before they leave the kinder garden
d_unsub 12
* oops kindegarten
jellybean5678 8
*kindergarten
ambowew 7
THERE we go, congrats.
RadikulRam 16
#12 you think it's time OP starts dating children before they leave kindergarten? What...
Muslimgal92 0
#12 is a pedo bear!!!! All the signs show that he is a pedophile. Not knowing to spell kindergarten..(most pedophiles are illiterate)and saying you should date children, duh!!
McAninch35 9
This comment makes me want to smash my head through a wall.
EmperorHilo 11
He might have misheard what you wanted, or he's not as mature as you were hoping.
failsammich 0
how do you mistake "jewelry" for "wand?"
Perdition 4
I think the real question here is, how has EmperorHilo survived this long? According to Darwin, he/she should have been eradicated long ago.
ScarletBloom 14
For you to gain pleasure with it when he is not around.
xiaoxaio 5
let the magic begin
raydaly 5
ohhh that kinda wand :/ Oop innocent me lol
xSorry_fml 10
Maybe he was letting OP know that he is not a muggle.
Usbdriver 13
Go near a jewelry shop at the dead of night and say "Accio Jewelry". Make sure you bring lots of storage compartments.
penguinazul 13
I'd be ecstatic if someone bought me a wand; even if they don't really do magic, I think it would be neat to have. Stop being an ungrateful bitch, OP; obviously he cares enough to think of YOU when he buys you a gift instead of buying some gift that he's "supposed' to get for his girlfriend.
desireev 18
It isn't a matter of what he is supposed to get her.. He needs to get her things she is interested in.. So stop jumping the gun! Just because you'd do one thing doesn't mean that everyone should do what you would do!!!
rabbittboi 18
39 - OP should be thankful she received a gift. With the attitude her present should be tailor made to her wishes, it would serve her right to get nothing.
penguinazul 13
Why would he randomly buy her a wand if she wasn't into magical/mythical things? That's something you'd get someone who was actually into that stuff; you wouldn't buy it for someone who wasn't. She's just being ridiculous because her boyfriend didn't buy her something "pretty".
nigerhater 2
He thinks of you enough to get you a present you don't like? Yeah, that isn't a sign of caring. Getting someone a more unique present is good, but only if it is something they actually like. According to you, him buying her the first random thing he found is better than buying jewellery. Just because people on here like Harry Potter, doesn't mean OP does, or that she should be happy to get a useless stick.
penguinazul 13
That's not what I'm saying at all. If he randomly bought her a Harry Potter wand without even stopping to think if she actually liked it or not, then yeah, he's stupid. But I really don't see why the **** you'd buy someone something like that if you knew they weren't into it. Me, I love Harry Potter, so yeah, I'd love it if my boyfriend bought me a wand. But if I wasn't into it, then yeah, I'd think it was dumb. However, for the FML at hand, if she actually does like Harry Potter (or things that are related), and he went out and bought her something like a big, fancy, collector's item wand from the HP store, and she stuck her nose up to it because it wasn't jewelery? I'd say **** HIS life for having such a stuck up, ungrateful girlfriend.
aikokohitori 0
Why do mortals think that people have to be obligated to get them a birthday present after they took them out to dinner already? Be a little more grateful and you'll see that you have no reason to **** your life. All of you.
stewpididiot 11
Is it about 12 inches long & about 2 in diameter ???
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
...and was it made out of "wood"?
o76923 8
I'm not a Harry Potter fan (and it seems the OP isn't either), but I do enjoy sharing my nerdiness with partners. I could see myself giving a partner the one ring, dice, or a rare magic card as a present.
nigerhater 2
It's only a good present if your partner shares the interest, otherwise it's basically you giving the present to yourself.
beccerz 6
That sucks but happy birthday :)
Capt_Oblivious 10
Awe, well isn't that magical.