Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Top comments
skinthesnakes 6
Did you not "wand" it?
apache316 6
Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.
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Comments (397)
hateevryone 15
make him disappear lol.
savannah_benana 5
he probaby spent a fortune at olivanders wands dont come cheap you know haha
mccutie936 6
Ungr8ful muggle
failsammich 0
wave it at him for a few hours. when he asks what your doing say " wishing for a boyfriend who gets me jewelry instead of a stick."
linkinpark98 24
Happy Birthday! :D
leilavdm_fml 0
If you don't want your boyfriend, I'd be glad to take him off your hands. I mean, come on! A wand!
xDani 3
I'd rather get a wand than a necklace. You're a lucky bitch.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, all you people saying YDI and that OP is ungrateful need to grow up. Who wants a WAND for their birthday? A Harry Potter freak with no life? Probably, considering the amount of idiots who actually tolerate that series. I'd much rather have a necklace than a wand for crying out loud. At least she didn't think it was an engagement ring and get all excited about that like some dramatic girls on this site do. And I'm speaking from experience here - my ex-fiance said he had something very special to give me for Christmas one year. I thought it was some kind of jewelry, not necessarily a ring, but something as a token of our love. He got me the entire World of Warcraft collection, and I don't even like WoW. So yeah, if OP was hoping for something romantic and got something stupid like a wand, especially if it's something she isn't interested in, then definitely FHL. Her boyfriend needs to grow up and get a life outside of kid wizards with sticks saying random phrases to get what they want.
blueeyedwolf 10
So you are just basically saying your as materialistic as the OP. Thanks for sharing.
Babsipoodles 0
Your mad because your boyfriend spent a boatload of money to share something that he enjoys with you? Seriously?
ambamm135 7
Seriously? I got a wand for my 19th BDAY from my uncle. It's not one of the characters from the books either it's my own personal wand according to my birthday. It was one of the coolest presents ever! I'm not even a super hardcore Harry potter fan it is just a cool gift. Makes me feel like a kid again. Obviously you are an ungrateful spoiled child who can not see how special each gift you received is. There's a little magic in every gift. Unless its a mean gift meant to poke fun of you of course.
iceroyalty1984 14
I've never seen/ read Harry Potter. I still love wands because I love princesses and fairies (secretly).
frogchic8 5
There should be a "I'm jealous of your boyfriend" button. I'd be clicking it. Why exactly is this a FML?
acciodoctorwho 5
Wand > necklace any day.