Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
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Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
Give him a ride to a gay bar far out of town and leave him there.
Dotell95 3
Tell him you can't because your busy studying
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Comments (159)
GunnarG9 0
hey everyone1loves"...". I know that alot of your comments on stuff are funny, but some a perverted an stupid. and really mean to other people. please think before you say stuff.
candideyes 0
I'm so sorry , happy belated birthday anyway
perdix 31
Hey! Mixology is a serious scientific subject. The top minds in the field are often drunk out of their top minds. If you can't respect a true academic, you need to find someone lesser.
flockz 20
your just jealous because you have never been in an orgy before.
crazy_bitch321 0
dumb him stupid ass
GunnarG9 0
okay I didn't mean to start anything, I just thought I should ask you to be nicer sometimes. but I'm guessing it didn't work. oh well.
Ihaveapan 0
What a douchebag
synonymous 1
That's awful :( Sounds like you need to drop his ass and find someone that won't (1) lie to you and (2) take advantage if you.
alexandrab 0
hope your smart enough to not go pick him up. it's your birthday why r u writting on fml go put on a cute dress go out n have fun'
evilmonkeysrock 0
every1luvsboners is an annoying fag. GunnerG9, I completely agree. All of his comments I have seen on this website are rude and piss a lot of people off. He must have a boner up his butt and be pissed about that.