Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML
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Top comments
sacrosanct2 23
clearly outplayed
emirie 21
Your dad sounds awesome. That's hilarious.
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Comments (107)
bryan_1989 14
The dad of the year award goes to.....
kumarina 35
Clearly your dad is a master of pranks..... Can you informed how your class was after this
ManInTheMachine 20
The only way to top this is getting a sex change, get breast implants and go to your father's workplace asking for him as an escort named Caramel Spice. Think about it, OP. How badly do you want to top your father?
annie_nk 23
The phrase "top your father" sounds dirty after telling OP to stage as an escort.
ManInTheMachine 20
;)
evan_7899 28
This comment made my day, but this sounds very vivid in detail, have you had much experience with this situation?
kyu_Q 19
The sex change might not be necessary. Just show up at the job in Daisy dukes and high boots and a knotted tshirt. maybe throw in a paddle for good measure.
brokenman5 6
Did anyone whistle lol
JMichael 26
I like your dad. I think you should keep him.
tranced_ 45
way to go son
GetBent730 5
Ur dad rocks!
FrankHotpants 31
Don't underestimate your parents, they've seen some stuff.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
WTF!?! You can't unsee that. That's what you call breaking a butterfly.
evan_7899 28
No, that's what you call obliterating a butterfly with a nuke
DarkCaesar 17
Easy way to combat that, burn his house down so he won't have one to return to.
nnnope 26
because burning someone's house down is a totally appropriate response to a hilarious and (physically) harmless prank.