Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I got ready for work in the dark, and it was noon before someone told me that I had one of my wife's pantyliners stuck to the back of my pants. I'd just given a presentation to 80 people. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I got new thongs that were too big, but wore them anyway. It was fine until they got caught on a door handle when I held the door open with my back. The whole conference room saw the door basically give me a wedgie. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML
Today, I invested in some menstrual underwear to save money on sanitary products and for environmental reasons. I got to wear them only once before they were accidentally washed too hot and completely ruined. FML
Today, I wore my first thong, which I bought weeks ago but was only just now brave enough to wear. As I was leaving, my little brother decided I really needed a wedgie. The thong garrotted my bum hole and I now have toilet paper up there because it won't stop bleeding. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
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Top comments
StreetReaper 9
The "sexy panties" aren't meant to be worn for that length of time. They are designed to be left in a crumpled heap on the bedroom floor.
zingline89 18
Don't worry, with any luck, the panties will also affect your boyfriend's lower body blood circulation.
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Comments (120)
MeLuvBewbs 7
Op: "Oh boss! My sexy legs are so tight in these panties I bought when I was smokin' hot! Is there ANYTHING you can do?" Paramedic: he died of suffocation, of rubber panties...
RedPillSucks 33
I thought it was funny....
lumoloxi 0
Damn girl next time just buy girl boxers
1PaulyD 9
She was in a rush '-_-
alikayanna 0
Sounds to me like you were at the bottom of your underwear drawer (where we keep the panties we never wear)so maybe it's time to do some laundry.
DocBastard 40
There's a very simple solution to this problem, and we're all thinking it. Come on, admit it - you're thinking "JUST GO COMMANDO!" Admit it! Anyway, that's what you get for wearing the "sexy" panties for work. Their only real purpose is to entice someone else to rip them off.
Enslaved 38
Not always true. I dress in sexy under garments (work, clubbing, etc...) for myself, and no one else see them. It makes me feel confident and sexy. Even better when I'm the /only/ one that knows what's underneath. ;)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I do that as well, Enslaved. Actually, most of my undergarments are of the sexy variety. The ones I have are incredibly soft and comfortable, so I prefer them over the regular, nonsexy kinds. Nothing wrong with wearing them anywhere, since no one else has to know...unless you let them in on your secret. ;)
Schizomaniac 24
"Actually, most of my undergarments are of the sexy variety." This, friends, is the quote of life.
DocBastard 40
Shrooms and Enslaved - I am forced to disbelieve both of you without photographic evidence.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
And what, end up on your profile picture as one of your "patients"? Can't fool me, DocPervert!
LunaDragon 10
Guys need a larger variety of sexy undergarments, just sayin. :)
RedPillSucks 33
Can't.... stop... getting... turned... on!!!!
StreetReaper 9
56 - I'm typically not one to argue semantics, but I would choose a greater variety over a larger one. The imagery is more appealing.
looney_mc 4
Nice. got stories
robberry 11
You're not a size small anymore. :(
Skittlesbaby 7
Sounds like an episode of "new girl" where she cut off her panties at a wedding for the same reason.
Calyx_fml 22
Sexy panties with slits up the sides are even sexier.
RedPillSucks 33
Why did this get thumbed down? I was thinking the same thing! Does this make me perverted???? *shuffles off to the corner to 'fap' about sexy panties with slits in the sides*
ankoku 2
Will they blend?
Pelreskovich 11
Time to start going for a daily jog so you can wear the sexy panties you bought years ago whenever you like! :)
bdathorne 6
it sounds like someone let themselves go... maybe this is the wakeup call you need to head back to the gym.