Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
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Top comments
Peeves_fml 17
Scumbag lottery
mzrobinson 13
Sell it and use the money for cake!
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Comments (85)
tehdarkness 21
Well now you have a nice gift for someone!
howardom 10
must be a test. sorry op, I hope you passed.
ni0ve 9
stay strong
Isa_fml 20
Ugh, that sucks, OP. Maybe it could make a nice present for someone you love who does drink?
nachosbabygurl 9
sell it
timmy257 8
Drink up! Or just give it to a friend.
donutcallmethat 16
OP, if you tell them you're a recovering alcoholic, they may offer you a different prize. Most stores would.
coldasfire 23
Give it as a gift!
lexitheloser 9
I hope you didn't give in! Maybe give the wine away as a gift?
ItsUnlucky 6
If its cheap wine then that sucks even more.