Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, after I sent around 300 entries to a competition hosted by a deodorant company where the main prize is a trip to Hawaii, spending around 5 hours sending the entries, I won a deodorant. FML
Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
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Top comments
expertsmilee 26
Sell it to a white person.
silvercamaro 22
Not for long you're not. I'm kidding that'd make you look like a corn dog
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Comments (127)
Jxv 15
Sell it!
doodlebug33 20
Congrats for being fit and winning the competition
crunchycheeto99 11
Sell it! Tanning isn't cheap!
jamal_hall 8
So what if your black, use it. I don't think you can get any blacker. Lol, I'm just kidding. Sell it to a lighter skin person, maybe you friend or someone
dipshitpoopyhead 7
in the words of Nelson Muntz. ...... "Ha.......Ha"
tournamentdecide 33
Nelson never says it spaced out.
ajilon7 17
I'm sorry but I laughed really hard...
goody1987 10
Hey Tony Atlas got a spray tan. Surely you'll be fine too.
GirasolNegro 22
Use them as Christmas or birthday presents for friends/family
beastmodez 9
why are people saying that it is this person's fault? is it his fault that he is black and won a competition?
SirMichael 13
Nobody has said that.
Soobie 10
Where have all the other Grammar Nazis gone? I feel like the last one in the bunker...
ImTheAlpha 30
I think FML is starting to change its status on grammar. I'm starting to see the grammar nazis getting yelled at and downvoted for doing exactly what they used to get upvoted for.