Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, after I sent around 300 entries to a competition hosted by a deodorant company where the main prize is a trip to Hawaii, spending around 5 hours sending the entries, I won a deodorant. FML
Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
expertsmilee 26
Sell it to a white person.
silvercamaro 22
Not for long you're not. I'm kidding that'd make you look like a corn dog
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
LouisvilleLuke 10
The real prize is knowing you're physically fit.
MysteryGuest214 10
Complain to the organizers. They really should have anticipated the possibility that someone of color might win the competition. That's just carelessness.
garrett_8614 14
That had to be an awkward exchange. Them: "Um...well...here's your prize" OP: -___-
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#13 I'm not trying to be rude but "someone of color"? Why not just say " a black person"? OP did, and no one has any problem saying anything about selling the prize to "a white person." Just kinda irks me when people are so PC about everything. But like I said I'm not trying to be rude, just curious why someone wouldn't just say black. :)
SirMichael 13
@37, well it would be the same situation if anyone with darker skin won, not just a black person, so person of color is more appropriate in the context of #11's comment.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I guess that's true, I didn't think about it like that.
xxrogerthatxx 19
Because black people are not the only people of color. @37 I think
Hiimhaileypotter 53
@40 Yes it's been explained, I wasn't thinking in that context and it never crossed my mind.
laden_swallow09 35
Guys, OP labeled himself as "black". Therefore, "black" would be acceptable. We're not talking about a population, demographic, or even an ethnic group, here. We're talking about OP. He, by himself. Brown, yellow, red are irrelevant here.
SirMichael 13
@45 Actually were discussing #13's comment which was about what the organizers should have taken into consideration when setting up the competition.
Brandi_Faith 34
In this instance "a person of colour" is correct as they were talking about more than one colour, however I understand you point 37. Sometimes I think people take "political correctness" way to far. For instance someone who was mentally challenged (which probably isn't even the correct term now) used to be know as "retarted", then people would use that term to make fun of people, so they changed the PC term to "handicapped," then people used that term to make fun of other people, so then they changed it to "mentally challenged" and so on. Till it gets to the point where we don't even know what's politically correct and we say the wrong term and are labeled as rude or discriminatory. Unfortunately people will always use a word (such as black or mentally challenged) as a derogatory and rude word, & I don't know that changing the word really solves anything. For instance if I say Merry Christmas, I am actually wishing people a good holiday and if people don't celebrate Christmas there is no reason to be offended that I said it during that season. In reality I don't know a single person that doesn't celebrate Christmas & is offended by that term, yet we assume people will be offended so now we can't say Merry Christmas in stores but only "Happy Holidays." Some people need to be less sensitive and some people need to realize that most people don't take offense to things as much as we think. *sorry, rant over*
viva_la_blondes 15
Just to add to the validity of the above rant, I actually don't celebrate Christmas because of my religious beliefs but I couldn't care less if someone says merry christmas or happy holidays. It's not being offensive, if anything they think they're being nice to you by saying it. So I completely agree with the comment above and don't know why people get so dumb about EVERYTHING nowadays. (side note- dumb started as a term for mentally challenged ones as well. The more you know)
Brandi_Faith 34
Thank you 79! I'm glad you don't take offence when someone says Merry Christmas to you, as they are just trying to be polite and it is that time of year. You don't see people freaking out when someone says "Happy Halloween" to someone who doesn't celebrate Halloween. There's no need to not be allowed to say those greetings in stores in my opinion.
SirMichael 13
#67, You misspelled retarded.
whenitdidhappen 14
even if your white, spray tan is not that intriguing and not really a healthy option
Comet_Candy 23
It's definitely better than actually tanning.
SirMichael 13
@26, Sure but that doesn't mean people want it. Most people aren't vain enough to care about tanning of any sort or do care but would rather not be tan (plenty of people don't find it attractive). It's really just a shit prize.
edmunson 22
Have you actually MET body builders? It is as much about looking pretty as being strong and sculpted! Yes, they are all orange, and I work with them every day...it's not a bad thing.
Brandi_Faith 34
Actually the spray tans have changed a lot in the past years and look like a real tan now. I complimented someone on their tan and they told me it was a spray tan and I was shocked. Of course there are the exceptions and if you do it all the time or really dark then it may look awful. But I bet there are a lot of people you know or see that do spray tans and you aren't even aware it's fake.
Gravenmuir 18
Orange is the new black.
dawnimus 21
Wishi could thumbs up this more! Brilliant.
noreallywhat 17
Damn you beat me to the punch line.
Mads_1234 28
Damn it, just when I had a good joke too!
drowningfishy 7
I for one would love to see a black person get a spray tan. However I doubt that stuff washes off so easily so that might be a bit awkward till it wears off. Would it even work? I have to google this.
HeartYou101 31
You should give the voucher to a white friend who likes using spray tan for their birthday. Well done for winning the competiton anyways!!
Corvo_Attano_4 12
Regift them at a party
hmrhoades 18
Maybe you could just get a bronzer with your same skin tone to give you a glowing effect? ?
PresidentNorth 16
Someone who finally decided to use the prize instead of selling. Progress people, progress.
Melayia 14
Could always use them around halloween and dress up like a carrot! ;) Congrats on the win either way, still impressive no matter the prize!
Steephx0 23
My friend is black and she has gotten spray tans before and looked great. They don't make her darker but they add a nice glow to her skin. They can also enhance the appearance of muscles. If you compete they might be of use to you, if not, see if you can exchange it at the salon it's from.