Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
nick3600 22
Australia where else
HowAreYouToday 34
why don't you take those puns and shove them up your butt
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Comments (83)
chocolatefrog28 29
Oh hell no. Burn the bed and get out of the building, that is just not right.
Awesomeaxel 24
It just wants a friend OP. Maybe all the spider needes was a couple scratches behind the ears.
etishuman22 32
What ears?
Manniie_ 20
The next time someone asks me why I am so terrified of spiders, this will be FML post that I am showing them.
ComoEsJuan 24
"Oh no! Burn everything that the spider touched!" C'mon, guys. Really?
StellaNox 16
Kill it! Kill it with... Ur blanket? I know the feeling - hate em! FYL
RenoTheRhino 30
Oh Jesus..and to think I want to go to Australia to be an exchange student.
Futacy 30
It's still worth it.
TrackGirl19 29
Love the username OP lol
sarahbevan20 11
Reading this in bed..... Wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway .-.
buckeye_state 11
you know what I always say? spiders are for smashing!!!!!
Sports_guy3 28
Time to call Mario and Luigi.
worldclassrager 41
Well now you know not to trust your tickles anymore...hope you got rid of the spider without any problem...