Kingspin
Canada
Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML
Top comments
UTTU 0
Let him go to sleep hearing the sound of a 12 gauge.
underpaid011 0
open the door then splash the very hot bacon grease on the asshole. then say "pick that mother ******" and for good measure kick him square in the sack, then in the face and ribs. then call the cops. don't forget to say "i was terrified!! I thought the guy was going to break in and kill me!!". blame the face and rib injuries on him "falling down".
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Comments (162)
xlil_miss_emo_x 6
that's why you take personal safety with a frying pan lessons :) and make sure its a nice big frying pan too, not a small one for omelets and etc. Id suggest about 7" or larger.
jacquelinerox 1
I love the way this was written. :)
WallyTheWombat 0
Throw the hot bacon grease at him.
nathansing 6
LOL
saturnsonic 3
Did you greet him at the door with a gun? :-)
HunterAlpha1 8
two words: Mossberg 12guage.
futboljem 1
you should have opened the door and smacked him with the hot frying pan then take his stuff close the door and lock it and unlock it like 20 times to mock him
polysyllabist 3
I call bullshit. Since when do Canadians lock their doors?
dansco 25
Erm who was cooking bacon? You have a stalker too! Don't go to sleep again, you might never wake up again lol Hope you gave the wannabe locksmith masterkey - a bat works well ;)
dansco 25
Erm who was cooking bacon? You have a stalker too! Don't go to sleep again, you might never wake up again lol Hope you gave the wannabe locksmith masterkey - a bat works well ;)