Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML
Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend had a nightmare, talking in his sleep about not hurting himself anymore or "auntie Nat Nat" will put him "back in the home with the mean doctors and the sicky medicine." WHAT THE FUCK? FML
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Top comments
nightngale 0
Isn't it ironic how he tells YOU to grow up, yet he wants someone to go cook him breakfast like he's a little kid who needs his mommy to do things for him. If anyone needs to grow up, it's your immature, insensitive 5 year old boyfriend.
abandonship 3
tell him to make his own damn breakfast!
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Comments (197)
QuickSilv3r777 0
Originality isn't my strong suit.
smallspuds 0
You def need a different boyfriend.
PrincessesCrown 17
It was a bad dream. wake up read or watch tv for 15 minutes and go back to sleep no problem. Baby
sbuxsux11 8
that's hilarious! ill go out with him. get a sense of humor! YDI
crabbyapple 2
You heard the man, no go make some bacon.
Omgplz 3
Make breakfast but eat it all yourself. Lock yourself in a room if you have to. Then dump him.
lebronesque73091 12
You deserve better than that OP.
noodleyhead 7
Douche.
missalice0306 19
Well put on your big girl panties and dump the a-hole.
AerBear115 15
Dump his ass immediately