Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
send her back a picture of your middle finger
angelxcollins 0
At least he wasn't your current boyfriend and you were finding out he got married while he was dating you. :P
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Comments (98)
pancakelover 0
I agree with #2, #5, and #23 all of them took the words right out of my mouth... Though I would have also done a drive-by on her street, but that's just the psycho in me :)
fnonnie 0
you dodged a bullet there! crazy mothers turn into crazy mothers-in-law..
FMLFAN1 0
It sounds like you lucked out to me! You could have married that guy and inherited a crazy mother-in-law.
mrhahn530 0
kill her dog...its the fair thing to do.
pleasetryagain 0
I agree with number 3. WHO THE **** CARES? So you're single. So what? Are you one of those people that has to "beat" your exes by getting another significant other first? So his mom texted you once. If she keeps doing it, get a restraining order. So you woke up. Go back to bed. YDI.
fmlgirl302 0
don't listen to them. this is EXACTLY like something my ex-boyfriend's mom would do. I understand how you feel and you def. don't deserve it.
Theoderage 3
That bitch!!!
Grashnak 0
Now is when you send the bitch pictures of your doing her boy with a strap-on.
AntiChrist7 0
so he got married? big deal. YDI for whining about it
unseen_fml 0
how is this an FML? it's called life. deal with it. people break up and then get married to other people. it was a bitch move on her part but seriously, not a FML moment