Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
send her back a picture of your middle finger
angelxcollins 0
At least he wasn't your current boyfriend and you were finding out he got married while he was dating you. :P
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Comments (98)
volleyballinnx 0
Wow, she's a bitch. FYL.
gsfgf 0
16, ftw. And make so send it to her at 4:30 AM. Midnight goatse might be the worst way to wake up ever.
mj2123 0
Do you really want your ex back? I mean, mine is getting married this August, and I'm just glad it's not me. I dodged a bullet on that one!
mixedcalibaby 0
How strange, she obviously still thinks of you. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. What a bitch, though. But honestly if you're over your ex it shouldn't matter at all who he's dating/what he's doing. Situations like this make me feel way better about changing my number after every breakup.
123_asdfghjkl 0
Stop whining.
pblack73 0
oh that sucks. you should tell the mom to go **** herself and then hook up with her married son
Gringo_fml 0
Oh get the **** out and find someone instead of crying out loud **** MY LIFE
Weil 0
BOO-*******-HOO.
foreverxalwaysx 0
:( #1, haha, at first that's what I had thought the OP's post said.
perussian 0
I think its a good FML, that can be quite heartbreaking and middle age crisis provoking.