Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BWill9014 4
Your dog anticipated your clever plan and developed a counter strategy for it... a wise and powerful general your dog is... bow to his superior intelligence.
Quasar55_fml 18
Sorry if I don't get it, but how come there is dog crap near your bed ?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
dax3_fml 6
I'd have 1 less dog.
Queen_of_Night 20
This is why crating is important!
Zombie65 0
# 1 pretty much said it all lmao
rique2008 10
Is anyone else picturing him jumping back and forth between the 2 piles out of "instinct"?
blessthefall313 6
i like your words :)
cally72 0
that's supposed to be good luck. get a lottery ticket on. lol
jokesta187 11
Right as the dog planned... Muhahahaaha!
Zmeilerr 22
Do you sleep in your backyard?
Zmeilerr 22
Do you sleep in your backyard?
liviy 0
everytime your dog does that slap it on the nose but not to hard that it would really hurt him but just hard enough he gets the idea
welderchick87 0
If you slap your dog on the nose hours after you find out it's done something (like this) it's not going to have any clue why it's being slapped on the nose, and it will just end up fearing the owner. You have to act as you see the dog doing something wrong.
MuchDance90s 0
that is the worst advice WTF