Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BWill9014 4
Your dog anticipated your clever plan and developed a counter strategy for it... a wise and powerful general your dog is... bow to his superior intelligence.
Quasar55_fml 18
Sorry if I don't get it, but how come there is dog crap near your bed ?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
MRGalaxc 0
I have 7 dogs in which only 4 of them or trained the other three are babies and even they don't shit in the house let alone next to a bed. 6 German shepards 1 yorky silky cross
BloodyHeel 8
Fascinating.
looper121 0
Uh, try walking your dog once in a while
Creedlord 0
Let's just say u got pwned by ur dog haha
Blueocean7 19
Lamo! sorry to laugh. You got punked by your own dog. Hilarious, but can understand why this is an FML for you too.
birdmansangel 0
how about you train your damn dog idiot.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
That is what happens when you don't get out of bed and take your doggy for a walk soon enough. Maybe you should get a cat instead?
F_U_imcrippled 0
I think it was a present becausee your dog loves you so much!
Privations_fml 0
YDI for having a poorly trained animal
GeneGenie 0
How did you not smell it when you woke up, before you stepped out of bed?
Burgessnk 0
probably because his room already smell like shit from previous occasions.
kibbleskid911 0
win.
Robotata 6
Nice dog.