Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
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Top comments
Tupelo_Honey 30
So what did you say?
imyy 20
She obviously said, "He's not single, but I am. Watching you is making me hotter than your coffee, so no need for more cream for me."
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Comments (75)
Cherryheart 22
Still a better lovestory than Twilight.
mario2012 18
Yea, that joke isn't overused at all.
maeh_fml 6
That is the most hilarious thing I've read since ever.
BellaBelle_fml 23
You don't read much, do you?
ZombieHeart 6
Go dad.
dalink 24
Troll dad.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
"Stacey's dad has got it..."
PipingMouse 14
I guess your dad has it goin' on! You should take some pointers. :P
BellaBelle_fml 23
And all these years we thought it was Stacie's mom that had it goin' on…
buddy51 23
You're your dad's wing-woman! Way to go, OP! While you may remain lonely, at least your old dad will be having some fun!!
sharpshooter19 8
That guy could be the reason for 'call maybe'
laden_swallow09 35
I suppose your father a DILF, then?
PipingMouse 14
is*
thejimler 9
Didn't you learn the great words of the modern day prophet Jimmy Pop? There are no straight guys working at Starbucks :P
amifaiyaz 12
all the good ones are either married or gay.
etchsanity1 11
Is all a lie ;) we have meetings on the third Tuesday of every month just have to find your local good guys anonymous chapter.
Pandamonia88 9
good guys anonymous? well that was lame. #34 meant all the good looking and not dorky ones are either gay or married :)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Well you should let your Dad know he has his options. LOL!