Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
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Top comments
domking1315 20
The itsy bitsy spider went up the va-gi-na Out came the pee and washed the spider out!
CynePhoba 23
Poor spider...
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Comments (258)
indoorsy 3
Or what is known as a nutritious snack for Bear Grylls.
Trisha_aus 15
The next spiderman!
TaliaTerror 5
Looks like its time to clean off EVERYTHING.
hateevryone 15
Ewww
llamafish 25
pandamimo(not taking any chances here) - I know. I'm getting a kick out of it. But it figures that the one comment I list who I'm replying to went to the right place xD I can just imagine a mod coming through here: "mmmm let's see...okay that comment definitely needs to be moderated...what the? Weird..." *scrolls farther down* THE WEBSITE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!! RUN TO THE HILLS!!
Pandacupcakelove 26
I'm in the bathroom right now... Thanks a lot.
girlwithmoodeyes 0
i just realized i have to pee now. greaaaat. :/
zojieeu 6
Lol your comment is always entertaining
sarbear293 4
Spiders in yo pussy. Might wanna have that checked out.
gonad_gobbler 1
You probably have spider webs in your ******...has it been that long op?