Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, my band got booed off stage. FML
Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML
Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML
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Top comments
Arwen_Evenstar 37
You'd think they'd mention getting rid of memorabilia.
lex1459 38
I'm not sure why you kept this in the first place.
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Comments (144)
lynds71 12
Well you're an idiot.
Appy07 7
What's AA
furubafan74 18
Alcoholics Anonymous
smalljamal 2
That's a really stupid thing to do. Especially because you're probably in recovery yourself. Get rid of that shit.
Solano2580 24
Why is that bad?
NamelessFace 22
I mean you probably just pulled it outta some drawer but I mean... you'd think you would have gotten rid of it by now.
hunt3009 16
You totally deserved that...