Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
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Top comments
Stupoopy 0
You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.
curious_missy 1
bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter
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Comments (267)
sugarr0babby0 0
well if she really did that, then it means that u guys really are too young.
LMFAOwlCity 0
I agree with 243!!! u should wait dude..
happy_animal_lov 0
just use them, get preggers, and make her take of the baby while you're in school. serves her right
IslandLove 0
lol that sucks
AziraLevana 2
10: LMAO! You legend!
aimeebooxoxo 0
good of her. but also stupid when you end up preggo
cyqt 0
I'd be like bitch replace these now.!
kellyheartsyou 0
I don't think that parents teaching abstinence works that well... teens are gonna have sex anyway, it's totally natural..instead parents should teach about stds and how to prevent them and birth protection.. and teach kids to make their own reasonable healthy and smart and right decisions...not push morals on them. there's nothing wrong with waiting till marriage it's just that some ppl find it unrealistic...so really parents should ask their kids whether that person is worth giving it up for and how it will affect u emotionally and healthwise and teach to put on a condom and stuff...because totally ignoring and condeming sex won't make it go away it will make sex unsafe.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
seems like jesus wanted to get in on the action, putting his "pin" in the condom and all here's what you should have done: 1. collect evidence in photographic form 2. do what #39 said and secretly videotape it 3. put together a movie with the story 4. put it in the internet 5. fame
Chocolate_Chunk 2
because there's a "woman" right next to the nick below the FML