Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Morning motivation
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML
Get me out of here
Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
The wrong kind of banging
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Top comments
SyraSid5 0
why were they there?
NeonRisk 0
*face palm*
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Comments (281)
TomasT 0
Ask them!!! And if they say no, you can always Golden Shower them through the mattress!
jojoboo1 0
dear gawd 31- that's a smoking hot bod. j/s.
jojoboo1 0
OP ur ****** is showing. the odds are that one of those bitches will throw u sympathy head... go get u some!
Backspace007 0
Use really???? Grow some nads man you should've just gone down there
amoneyx 0
damn dude! I would kill my self if I was u. lol!!!
corrupteddevil 12
Grow some cahones, senor. You shoulda at least taken the shot. I mean, what's the worst they would've said? No? Then what? You're still alone on the top bunk? Damn, dude, it's not like that's any worse than where you were. Just keep in mind for the future: They probably wondered wtf was wrong with you.
DeathShad0 1
Did you at least weep softly?
DJortiz31 0
hahaha noooo game lol u should kill yourself for passing up an opportunity like that lol
Silkie 0
LMAO! Haha :D that sucks sooo hard!
acb132_fml 3
aww dude ouch