Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML
Today, I was excited to go to a Japanese restaurant for my birthday. When the chef started doing tricks however, my spoiled brat of a sister started screaming and crying in terror. My parents insisted we leave and go to McDonald's because she was upset. She's 11. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML
Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML
Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML
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Top comments
fuckmeamiright 0
i'm sure that's what they tell everyone
dianeface 0
You must've had some pretty cool shoes!
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Comments (130)
ZiggyMorrison 0
Sorry man I really liked your Jordans I hope you dont mind
wallythedolly 0
This reminds me of that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie's shoes were stolen at a party. Were your shoes Manolo Blahniks or something?
summersong89 0
aw that sucks, but hey, you probably must've had some pretty awesome shoes.
ohhhhshizzz 0
Who really steals shoes? #4: I'd like to think you were joking but, idgaf there is NO "American" food, fast food is not it there is no such thing. AT ALL, everything in America is from somwhere else. That is why America is called the Melting Pot. Gosh, one episode of School House Rock would teach you these things. #13: And in all honesty would you really come here if someone said: "Today, I was raped. I just found out that I was pregnant and that the guy who raped me has AIDS. FML" Would you read that? Really now, stfu. Start a new site if you are unhappy.
Nomad609 0
well look on he bright side, you're famous on that resto...ask for a free meal.
Nothings_Left 0
must have been some pretty epic shoes, grats good sir/madam
PredyJessica 0
dam i wud be soooo pissed!
0 3
That probably happens all the time.
k10tree 0
Least you had the nicest shoes.
floresntadolecnt 0
#13, should the site be about situations that actually deserve the title **** my life? "Today, my mother killed my entire family then commited suicide. FML." Not so funny. Someone getting their shoes stolen in a japanese restaurant. Pretty funny.