Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try a new "exotic" restaurant that just recently opened. I paid almost a hundred bucks for a bowl of oily meat sludge and a bunch of mushy vegetables, then got to shit my brains out all night. Exotic my ass. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
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Top comments
luckycharm421 3
just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's good
chanel8711 0
orange liquid shit? you must have eaten too much fish called escolar. they have oils that we cant properly digest so you can only eat a very small amount of it. ydi for not knowing what you ordered.
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Comments (137)
gryarya 0
2 bad sushi is amazing it's not like your suffering thatcmuxh! >:)
VikingPrincess19_fml 9
Could be an allergic reaction too
clemcool_fml 0
as the manager at a restaurant, I can tell you that you definitely did not get food poisoning from sushi you consumed 2 hours before symptoms started. to reiterate what others have said, it takes a day or two for symptoms to kick in. either you are sick from something you ate previously, or your system just didn't like the sushi you got. it happens sometimes, like when you get sick from mcdonalds if you haven't had it in awhile.
YouDeservedItnot 0
You are the epicenter of entertainment on this website.
hailes915 2
As an anatomy student, and having just learned about the digestive system, it takes about twelve hours for any food to make it through your large intestine alone. Not including the 3-6 hours in the small intestine, and the time in the stomach. So, that food poisoning wasn't your sushi after just two hours. Think back to yesterday :)
LilaBear 2
Food poisoning doesn't require the food to go all the way through your bowels before it takes effect. The poison gets into your system much earlier than that. It is quite common for people to wake up in the middle of the night from food poisoning that they got at dinner (so, food they ate only 5 or 6 hours earlier). Some people will start getting the effects before they even get to bed. Drink sour milk sometime if you want to test how fast bad food can affect you.
JETT19 0
oh god, are you guys going to stop the biology lesson now shit, and you can get food poisoning after like 2 to 3 hours FACT *******!!! :):):)
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Tubgirl
Cherryripe25 5
been there done that :/ but not with sushi I LOOOOVE sushi ^^
i_luv_u3030 3
I guess that's wat u get for eating raw fish
42billybob 5
Tell your friends to avoid that place. They lose business, revenge gotten, future illnesses averted. Honestly though I wouldn't be surprised, sushi being raw NEEDS to be fresh... someone cutting corners can easily screw it up.