Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. Ten minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Maybe he thought you were boring :/ it works both ways you know
Sandsh8rk 36
"I was gonna get a girl, but then I got high...."
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Comments (53)
grgnyce 8
That's awesome OP!!!
Greenteamextreme 16
Could have been worse. He could have come back smelling of poop.
worldclassrager 41
Weed out for the garden of people and find someone else I apologize the lame pun
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Never be sorry for a pun.
DocBastard 40
But always be sorry for a bad pun.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Aren't all puns bad?
Zimmington 21
#74 Not if you do it right.
dtcwithed 12
In that case YOU were boring. Let that sink in as you realize that's why he didn't include you in his toke breaks.
parism143 28
Maybe he just didn't want to share his pot!
expectcriticism 13
Honestly if he needed weed to get through the date, you must not be all that fun OP. Maybe you should work on your people skills so the next time your date doesn't have to try to get stoned before they can enjoy their time with you.
amisenho 11
#72: So he couldn't have been gracious and just, I don't know, pay his half of the tab and cut the date short? He absolutely had to go have a toke (twice) and blame OP for ruining the date?
olpally 33
Like weed was supposed to make the date better? He's an idiot. Most girls would find that a huge turn off. Not worth your time. Next!
Stuffaluffagus 25
Actually I find guys that smoke weed to be a huge turn on. I'd never be interested in someone who didn't smoke
rocker_chick23 27
And I find it a huge turn off. Just because it turns you on, doesn't mean other women find it attractive.
Jakob2255 12
you find it cool cause you havecno life. oh god your the future of the country lmao
kaablam 17
Everyone is different and likes different things. For instance, I like turtles. How about you?
expectcriticism 13
I think turtles are pretty chill "Dudee"
rocker_chick23 27
#66 ENGLISH ************, DO YOU SPEAK IT?
ninety 25
Maybe it's just me, but I also tend to find guys that smoke pot a huge turn-off because the majority of them that do don't really seem to function too well in the "real world."
rocker_chick23 27
I would have left him the first time he came out smelling like weed.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Relax, I was only calming my nerves. Plus, If I hadn't, weed have nothing to talk about now. You see what I did the--wait, where are you going?"
breakinlegs 19
If he was off smoking weed I don't know how he could be boring, it makes me wanna talk! He is rude for not inviting you to partake.
Goblin182 27
Just because you are talking doesn't mean you are interesting.
0ss 12
The second time you should of excused yourself and left.
Slackness 10
Hey, If weed isn't yr bag, then move on. There are actually a lot of nice people doing online dating. I met my last wife (*yes thats a bad comment, waiting for the rip from you guys), online. We had 10 years of good marriage. We just went in different directions later in life (*we are in our mid 40's). Seriously, just mark down as a non-plus and recover any lost dignity and be assured your issue is far from your issue. Good luck, ohhh and btw I am now with a lady i knew from years back. It's all good! Chin Up!