Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Don't you love it when people fix you up with someone who's "perfect" for you? Really lets you know what they think of you.
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lol that sucks. But you can go home and try to forget about it, and your blind date will probably forget about it when he wakes up next morning, so it never happened.
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Comments (56)
Laxguitar37 0
hahahahahaha that SUCKS
jdannyl 0
FYDay, not FYLife
sevenalive 0
look i am sorry for that, but when your friend showed me your pic, i had to back out. i didn't want to be an ass and call it off, so i thought getting drunk would make you attractive enough. Well i was wrong, nothing can help that, so i had to improvise.
jdannyl 0
lol well atleast you did her a favour and ruined that crappy dress that she, for some obscure reason, decided to wear.
24788 7
Well, you really can't expect much from a blind date.
lesbee 0
And then Chevy Chase showed up and yelled "CUT!!!"
youlose_ 0
first
xoerica9 0
Fail
GabrielaSabatini 0
This was good, but not as good as my win over Martina Navratilova at the 1991 Pan Pacific tournament in Tokyo. I overcame my opponent’s formidable accuracy by acing her opening serve on the second set, and won the next three games!
plexico 4
But it is very sad that you couldn't play so well consistently. You were the most beautiful woman to have played the game in my lifetime (even hotter than Anna Kournikova) and I would have loved to have seen you advance to the rounds that got televised. I dreamed of you in Grand Slams, but also about you playing tennis. ;) Ciao, baby.
silkee_shiny 0
hahaha I bet you'd love to go on a date with him again aye???
IfyL 0
If you knew he was drunk when you got there.. why didn't you leave? It isn't considered rude if the OP is rude enough to be drunk on your 1st date. SRSLY YDI!
musiclife_fml 0
Well, he's a keeper!