Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to recommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking. I got food poisoning from my own workplace. FML
Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML
Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML
Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML
Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
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Top comments
free_Aus 0
...and it was so good you went back for more! lol.
doof_fisch 2
You should have read your fortune cookie at lunch.
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Comments (75)
tick_tock 0
Grody. It was probably swine flu, no worries. Just kidding, you'll be fine.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
Three jokes about swine flu, wow you guys are so hilarious and up to date. I'm really really jealous of your wit
Megbo 0
And you liked it.
hilaryy_fml 0
hahahahahahaa #5
Buffel 0
Could someone please explain these swine flu jokes to me? It's not possible to get swine flu from meat, so that's obviously not what the jokes refer to. So are they implying that someone was coughing inside the restaurant. Hmm. There's obviously something I'm missing here.
p0kegeek 4
I find that the best Chinese restaurants are always coincidentally adjacent to pet shops
emery52 0
People once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. Indeed, 100 days into his presidency, swine flu.
shenk39 0
walk it off :)
DankJemo 0
I wonder what you potentially ate that was contaminated. I think if you were to call someone, you should be able to find out... Seeing is how it would be something very important to your potential survival.
thakidgame 0
lmao and u loved it