Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML
Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML
Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I’m a nurse on a 12-hour shift and finally got a 5-minute break to inhale a yogurt. I absentmindedly grabbed what I thought was my spoon from my pocket. It was actually a thermometer cover. A patient watched me freeze mid-bite, slowly process my mistake, and then whispered, “Rough day?” FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. The vet asked me to hold him still and keep him chill while he took his temperature rectally. My dog freaked out, jumped, and the thermometer hit me in the face. The vet just said, “That’s a first.” FML
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Top comments
yatoast 0
******* VOM... I'm a nurse and that's just gross!!!!
Freeze_fml 17
Rectal thermometers? Don't even want to know.
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Comments (148)
blue_eyes4602 0
that's so gross. eewwww
Shystai 0
Lmao. Rectal thermometer,
drunkssssssssss 0
haha lmao does your face look like your ass
love21_fml 0
yes you can tell the difference. rectal thermometers have a rounded red tip. while oral have a blue tip. and armpit is the most unacurate temp reading. you should try something else.
DeadHorseman 11
looks like yo sis likes putting stuff in her ass ;)
Amystika 0
you deserved this for being a dumbass about the different coloring. red thermometers are always rectal.
ElegantlyLovelyy 6
Whatever happened to the good old fashioned armpit thermometers ?
tati21293 0
That is so gross!
NickK49 0
I wonder where you put it...... DE DA DU
1LL337 0
YDI for having unsanitary practices. Why would you take any thermometer that isn't yours and put it in your mouth?