Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
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Top comments
zinnath 9
That would of been a funny YouTube cat video.
xnyletak 17
You should upgrade to a dog.
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Comments (71)
Zimmington 21
Get a cat they said... They only use a litterbox they said...
touch_phobia 13
They do if they are happy
JoeyJaws68 18
Lethal
steve31789 8
Cats are very spiteful animals.
junkman6 22
Yes whenever I visit my mother and forget to hide my shoes her cat poops in them. I stepped on her tail once like 3 years ago and the cat never misses a chance to shit in my shoes.
lesley3r3 22
Now you know who owns that pillow hahaha
zoegirl_455 30
Maybe he was just marking his territory! He wants everyone to know that you're his owner, how sweet.
martin8337 36
or his bitch.
CaitiieBuggs 23
When my cat was a kitten he jumped up on my bed and tried to spray me, to mark me as his since we also had dogs. I wrapped him up in my blanket and gave him a bath immediately. He's never sprayed anything again.
middlenamefrank 8
Tom cats will "spray" to mark their territory; that's just a quick burst, much different than full-on urination. Neuter your cat at a young age to prevent that sort of behavior from ever developing. But actual urination is almost always caused by something, often a nasty litterbox or some sort of illness. Cats can't tell you when they're not feeling well or are unhappy, so they find another way of communicating.
thief1434 23
You know, cats and other animals usually urinate on stuff to claim it as their territory...your cat owns you now!
blackonblight 33
Actually, cats territory marking is more often from the scent glands in their cheeks and paws, which is why the rub their face on everything and use your leg as a scratching post.
LickitungJr 8
Ah that sucks was he scared?
olpally 33
Cats are the devil.
graceinsheepwear 34
I'll forgive you this time, because clearly the devil made you say that!
FlyingPie 17
You must have been really pissed off.
graceinsheepwear 34
They will do that if they have a urinary tract infection. Some cat foods can aggravate urinary problems too. Sounds like a vet visit is warranted. Especially with not stopping the stream when fleeing. That's a red flag.