Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
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Top comments
zinnath 9
That would of been a funny YouTube cat video.
xnyletak 17
You should upgrade to a dog.
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Comments (71)
loooloool 13
Ur-ine some big trouble
martin8337 36
Gives a whole new meaning to golden showers.
hippo1234 19
Nope, pretty sure golden shower means getting peed on. No new meaning here.
steve26113 7
Troll cat...
jaygoose 5
I have both dogs and cats even with that story cats are just cleaner than dogs. Dogs are just gross.
perdix 31
#34, I doubt the OP would agree with your opinion.
touch_phobia 13
it's true. Chances are the OP hasn't been treating the cat as well as he should, clearly the kitty was upset
Helpfulman 17
Well that was a 'shitty' situation.
olpally 33
The cat peed, it didn't shit. You moron.
smokecloud_ 37
No, he must've just been pissed off.
ThomasBombadil 31
This is how Ted Nugent got cat scratch fever.
SoultheWolf 19
Do you even know what cat scratch fever is? o.O It's from the bacteria in the cat's nails that causes it when you get scratched. Not their urine. It's rare to get, usually happens only when you have outdoor cats, because they get more bacteria in their nails then indoor cats.
ThomasBombadil 31
It was a joke. Calm down. Next time I suppose I could put (joke). Sorry you're offended.
littlekellilee 45
She's not offended, your joke just made no sense.
ThomasBombadil 31
Perhaps to her and you but humour is like that. Not everybody gets it.
NLilly42 1
Was your mouth open?
perdix 31
That cat just earned a one-way ticket to the Humane Society or the SPCA. When a cat pisses or ***** where you sleep, you need to get rid of it.
SoultheWolf 19
Or just leave it out of your bedroom. I feel bad for any future pet you have if you have such a narrow mind when an animal is bad.
smokecloud_ 37
I usually enjoy your comments, but this disappoints me. I almost got rid of one of my cats because he peed on my bed a few times, but the shelter told me he'd be euthanized because he was a pee-er. Six years later, he only pees outside his box when I fail to clean it or he's sick.
smokecloud_ 37
And I couldnt be happier with my decision to take him back home with me. stupid iphone greatly limits the length of my comments. >:(
outoftown 27
Nope. But it does earn kitty a fast trip to the vet. Major UTI symptoms here.
touch_phobia 13
This comment makes me want to kill myself
touch_phobia 13
Sorry no sarcasm but seriously. If someone told me to give away my pet because he was upset and made one mistake, I would honestly want to kill myself
touch_phobia 13
And hey my brother has peed his bed multiple times but we didn't give him away either.
pizzzah 9
im guessing since you were yelling your mouth was open?
papayeya 18
You should not interrupt someone while he is having a piss :D