Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
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Top comments
blasko1022 0
finally, im not the only person in america who has that shirt
D_Thr33 0
Well, you should have been protecting your nuts.
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Comments (114)
Goople 0
U fail, dad wins. did that shirt come with a cup?
alexFYL 11
That shirt is awful, and you deserve it. You can tell the quality guys because they wear those shirts, and the fire extinguisher shirt that says "I put out!" Classy.
alexFYL 11
The shirt is from Target, it's like $10, not designer. It's among their "stupid crappy shirts" collection.
israelnotjacob 20
Only a true douche of a guy would wear this shirt. You actually didn't deserve it though. You deserve to be kicked in the balls as hard as is humanly possible. Your father actually did you a favor by only punching you. Guys like you are the reason I'm not even totally fond of my own gender and actually hang out with more girls (and yes I'm straight before some dumb gay comment comes around, I even have a fiancee). I hope you're lonely for a long time if you don't grow up.
TheSpoof 0
why would someone call you gay after you said you aren't fond of your own gender?
TheSpoof 0
47 managed to say what you did without sounding like such an insecure tool
Adventurer2012 0
They could call him dumb, though, lol.
Scubadiver172001 0
ur gay
Basiil 0
ur dads cool.
allmidnighteyes 11
YDI for having a stupid shirt.
sosmall11 0
well , you should have protected your nuts then I guess ?
emoR97 0
.........ouch?
imaniblub 0
LOL I love your dad
me5 0
Did he hit you hard or caress?