Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
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Top comments
allergylady101 0
That just makes my skin crawl.
MeLuvBewbs 7
You will be the next Spiderman!
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Comments (118)
needsagf14 12
Wow. That's why when I find stuff from the attic I usually stomp it out...
Skymone 6
I'd also like to know why you categorize them as your favourite jeans if you wear them that rarely? Also, always remember to shake your pants before you put them on :D
macboxx 0
I hate spiders. Im never going to wear pants again! LOL
ilovedinosawers 17
If they're your favorite then why haven't you worn them in forever?
jaygallogly 2
Take a bath or something ... That's so nasty
Miaoudeminou 7
I don't check my clothes before I put them on. But how on earth are spiders getting in your pants!? Are you leaving them in a drawer in the basement/attic or out in the camper in the woods? I guess I wouldn't know 'cause I hang just about everything except socks & undies.
DrakeEternal 1
Same thing happened to me! except it was with a bee
MusicallyGifted 0
Gurl that is nasty XD
dextermorgan2006 2
And yet...they're your "favorite jeans" ?
megantaylor0412 4
That happened to me and then it fell out of my pants followed vy a kid next to me smashing it with his hands yelling die die die my techer leans over and says i everything okay over there