Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Juggalette_623 9
Ouch. Ever think your dog hates you?
Asdas_fml 0
I'm pretty sure a dog will notice if his owner faceplants into the sidewalk right next to him. Or then you have blind and deaf dog. Every dog that I've ever had would get scared right away, or at least wouldn't pee on you. Then again, you might be one of those dog owners that gets dominated by their little cute dogs.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
duhhhhh 0
uhm you couldnt get up in time? i blame this one on your laziness ...
Solidus_fml 0
If that had been my best friend, I would have laughed my ass off... because his dog pissed on me, too. Funny story aside, that must suck. Hope you wern't wearing anything you particularly liked.
Mnemo_fml 0
Your dog hates you... Do you believe in reincarnation? :P
INTENSE2013 0
ANOTHER GOOD REASON FOR WHY I DONT HAVE PETS =)
FarSide 23
Well, now you know how to make the dog take a leak: just lay face down on your sidewalk... no need to walk the varmint all over the neighborhood.
FuckYourFuckingL_fml 5
LMAO @ 21
nodbor 11
your dog calls you stumpy
jcalati 0
Fake
earthgirl 0
Dogs are stupid.
Scope_fml 0
@ #60 Don't you feel that most of what gets on FML is fake? It still provides LULz though.