Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
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Top comments
Juggalette_623 9
Ouch. Ever think your dog hates you?
Asdas_fml 0
I'm pretty sure a dog will notice if his owner faceplants into the sidewalk right next to him. Or then you have blind and deaf dog. Every dog that I've ever had would get scared right away, or at least wouldn't pee on you. Then again, you might be one of those dog owners that gets dominated by their little cute dogs.
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Comments (77)
V1NNY35 0
That's what happens when bitches be trippin!
Ugi 27
Your dog is just making sure you know your place in the pack!
hurley12 30
Sounds a little... Y'know "elaborate"
Karlsmarx2 9
That's dog language for you're my bitch now
amberdea404 28
Not quite mans best friend anymore.
sharond23 10
I'm having a hard time imagining a dog doing this to their owner.