Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my room and we were kissing. He was being exceptionally aggressive and intense when my brother knocked outside my door, demanding I open it. He had to jump out while I was fumbling to fix my top and cover my marks with my hair. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, my boyfriend and I shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walked by and told us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looked at my boyfriend and told him he could do so much better. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
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Top comments
narwhalicious 15
At least he was honest
typical_girl_ 19
He's a keeper
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Comments (48)
millagramssxe 24
classy
junkman6 22
At least you know that you're safe from uttering the words "come on!!! My mouth was open and everything!" While dating him.
logan00_fml 15
That blows.
Stazza11 27
Will these horrible puns ever end?
joe3_fml 15
That stinks.
Enslaved 38
Imagine-- His booty and lips were both in that puckering shape. :O
KamiyaHaine 18
Sounds like some sort of test. LOL
Ki11erC 18
Haha
mishwarner 14
Lol. He sounds great. Very down to earth
prettyinpinkxoxo 9
Aww maybe he was trying to be funny but being honest at the same time XD..?
Mauskau 36
Silly man, you're supposed to fart whilst walking.