Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, while having lunch on a pier, I tried to take an artsy photo of my food for Instagram. Just as I was about to snap the pic, a seagull swooped in and snatched my chips right out of the paper bag in my hand. I didn't even get a photo of the robbery. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
Today, I went to McDonald's to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML
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Top comments
Nenita24 0
why wud u leave ur food unattended outside!
samanthadude 0
damn bird!
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Comments (285)
bluesfan74 2
your fat.
jellybeans4833 7
bacon is evil
shortiebabe1134 0
everybody's gotta love that bacon. haha
seanreddog 4
Wait does fried chicken heads cost extra?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The chicken head, along with the Wendy's fingerchili rumor, is a hoax. I believe they're both on snopes.com. Of course, the more common bug/hair/band-aid rumors are likely true. Although fast food is definitely bad for you, you can probably find just as many incidents of grossness at healthy restaurants. I found a bug and a hair in a vegan falafel once -_-
buoyantcitrus 0
Sean you crack me up all the time. Your comments are win.
Wooaahh_fyl 0
you'd have to be a fatass for this to be an FML i bet you cried for hours wondering what that greasy bacon would taste like as it slid down your throat, make a salad tubby.
seanreddog 4
no
mx_17 0
don't leave those things un attended nigga
seanreddog 4
I wish everyone had my sense of humor