hijaz25

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML