Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Today, my friend's father got me mixed up with his new wife when telling stories for his wedding speech. Everyone noticed. The new wife was not pleased. FML
Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
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Top comments
C_Wicked27 0
Smmoooottthhheee. FYL for not having a little something known as 'tact'. And #3 is correct. I look at this as a possible public service to show people that being a ******** doesn't really get anybody anywhere, unless you're in business or politics...
mintfreshpinesol 0
ahaha, guess that blew any chance you had with her.
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Comments (69)
palmtrees 1
#3 definitely got it right... if your flirting skills are bad enough that you can't think of anything more interesting to say than something insulting about the people around you, just don't even bother.
YouMustBe_Joking 0
If you're gonna be a dick, you better have all the pertinent information on a situation or this what you get. Girls love cocky guys with confidence, and you tried to be that more or less, but you messed it up. YDI for not being prepared.
jessxoxo28 5
good job!!! u r so a lady's man.
KeithHarris 0
Way to go champ! My ex-girlfriend used to say I lacked that suave and debonair kinda attitude. Can you teach me how to be cool like you :-D
cinnamania 3
You should have just kept quiet.
Osakhomen 0
Wow, you're so cool. You belittled someone who was already is pretty down because of his unfunny joke. Even if the guy wasn't her dad, your comment would have been made you look stupid! If you have to insult an innocent person to be funny, then you're a loser
Abirys 0
lol
Je_mapelle 0
rofl, #3. yeah, so many guys think that it's "impressing" to be a total jackass. I mean, even if she wasn't related to the guy, you still acted ike a total jerk in front of her. that's what you get for being a dick :P
Dumbpeople 0
Atta boy, sick way to start off.
nina_fml 0
YDI. You should learn to be more respectful. Making fun of people like that won't make any girl want you...