Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into an automatic glass door at a mall when it failed to open. A woman asked if I was OK, so I said, "I'm fine, the door must be busted." The automatic door then opened immediately after, proving it worked just fine. FML
Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML
Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML
Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML
Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML
Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML
Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML
Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
WTF were you trying to prove?
redbluegreen 41
Older brothers will say anything to make you look like an idiot, and you can't move faster then the machine can do it's job. I can't believe you believed him.
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Comments (173)
24788 7
WTF were you trying to prove?
Love_Bugg 0
life lesson:: never believe older brothers, mine convinced me that if you put ur tongue on a charged battery enough times it gave you super powers.. have you ever licked a charged battery? ouch
JStromberg 0
I think everybody have :D
holystudent 0
haha yea, i also tried it with a cellphone charger, it stings like hell.
TheDoge 0
What the hell are you? 6 years old?
cpep08 0
in the States the automatic doors open faster then you can run.
ndanick 4
Well thats cuz your from canada and if this happened to an American then we would have stopped running after noticing the door isnt opened. ******* retarded canadians
ducttape89 0
true
Duckasaurus 0
If this happened to an American we would sue because of our own stupidity.
DizzyDemon0 9
Ever wonder why there are no "Duckasaurus"? Because you're freaking dumb. Keep your anti-american comments to yourself dick.
Lilianna_fml 0
Not true. I was staying at the Contemporary Resort in Orlando for an academic competition and was running late for the next round because I overslept. Having five minutes to run from my room, through the lobby, to the convention center, I had three sets of automatic doors to pass through. I ran into the first one when I didn't register it hadn't opened. After that, I made sure to pause for a second before going through the other doors. And yes, I made it to competition, and my team made third in our division. ETA: 93, you're retarded.
mattmag 0
American doors only open faster than we can run because we're too fat to run fast =P
levinnn 0
haha..youtube
levinnn 0
# 93 you are a huge retard. Just because this person is a Canadian doesn't mean that everyone in canada is a retard .
nebjamin69 0
Sorry 93, but a few FML's ago was about an American yelling at a garbage can for 5 minutes because they thought it was a drive-thru speaker.... Personally, I rather have the kid running into doors....
AMMM 0
Ah but anti-Canadian is JUST FINE. Arrogant asshat Americans...
98_PACKERS 0
i think he made a good point
Casualt1234 0
there may be no duckasaurus out there, but there are plenty of you retards in our country who criticize other nations, yet get too defensive when someone criticizes us. if you think our country is flawless, then you're either brainwashed or retarded. and another thing. pointing out some of our flaws isn't "anti-american" - I hate when people like you use the phrase and don't even know what it means. Being anti-american is standing against all of our core values: liberty, freedom, justice, etc. Moron
bogg_fml 0
# 104 your ******* stupid.. he has a ******* point dumm ass.. he said "we would sue" prolly meaning he's american.. and it is very true.. americans sue for dumm stuff.. I guess ur one of them..
DizzyDemon0 9
@ 180: I'm sorry. I can't take you seriously when you spell dumb, "dumm"...Try again later. To #171: First off..never said America doesn't have flaws or is perfect. Nice job reading. Also, notice how I never insulted another nation. Weird. "And another thing"...being anti-American does not mean standing against all of our core beliefs. Go look it up and try again. Thanks
RJB 0
lol that was mean but funny at the same time...
Caayouteepie 0
wtf?!
Rene2shae 0
liberty, freedom, justice? in america? that is hillarious
sidd2000 0
ever heard of the word "gullible?"
akanch994 0
He can't help it for speaking a generalized truth about Americans.
sweetbabe6 0
what idiot actually listens to their brother??!!!!!
yuop77 0
Canada > America nuff said
xPedobear 0
"so I ran at a pair" best statement on the Internet
EmilyCecile 0
i agree with 220. canada rules
willbruton_ 0
I wanna every square inch of your body... holy ****.
sens3sfailing 25
Yeah there are slaves, and no courts in the USA! Livery, freedom and justice don't exsistance here! Stfu you ignorant spoiled brat. You have no idea what those concepts are and how lucky you are to live in a place with them.
PoopNuggetLeader 4
What the ******* **** 93? Giving Americans bad names asshole.
redbluegreen 41
Older brothers will say anything to make you look like an idiot, and you can't move faster then the machine can do it's job. I can't believe you believed him.
mich23 10
Did you know that gullible is not in the dictionary!
anonymous_user 0
actually, i think it is. you just want people to be "gullible" and look it up. retard.
genius_man16 1
^^ Fail
Ventriloquisitor 0
#81: Has anybody you know ever fallen for such a stupid trick?
Logica42 0
...that's...the entire point... of saying it.. Like, you know... "hey, there's something on your shirt! -nose flick-" and all. In any case, I've lost brain cells because of this FML... Edit: #173, I think 81 was saying it to point out the insanity of listening to an older brother. It would be like looking up gullible to see if it was in the dictionary.
Chee 0
I have actually had a couple people fall for that. One person even checked multiple dictionaries...
Virtuoso 0
Well at least that special helmet you always have to wear would have cushioned some of the impact.
Stupidstupidrat 0
Nice. I firmly agree that the OP is a pillock although I must admit that my older brother used to do the same kinda thing. He once, while walking me home from a piano lesson, told me to wait for him in the middle of the road as we were crossing. It took him a moment to realise that I had actually done it. To be fair I was quite young.
arienh4 0
Most children will believe anything, especially if it's a family member.
soya_fml 0
thats true, when i was little my big sister told me to put my hand over the kettle once it was boiling, but then she kind of didn't let me move it away, ended up with 3rd degree burns lol
fnool 0
Learn2physics.
teheheois 0
ahhahaha you fool
CHILL222 0
lol! that was funny
raNDMGUy 5
dumbass
Mnemic 6
Haha, why didn't you just run towards them and stop in time? I almost always have to stop because they don't open in time at normal speed. I thought Canadian people were smart. :-o
iFellytone 0
They are. It's Americans that are stereotypically dumb.
aannggiiee 0
just half of us.. the ones who voted for Bush.. and the ones who thought Palin as vice president was a good idea.
Fuck_The_Police 0
yeah but who else is there that is not a douchebag?
imbored932 4
yeah, that's true. because Obamateur is doing so well. let's nationalize the auto industry, now the health care. another TRILLION dollars to the deficit? Bush's fault. yup, republicans are idiots
Charlesdenfreude 0
I'm so glad you think so
fuck_YOUR_lives 0
but the ones who voted for obama and thought he was a good candidate, were the biggest retards and most gullible brainless ding-dongs to walk this earth.
StudBoiAyeEm 0
fuhk politics thoroughly its all a bunch of bullshit anyways. both partys are basically teh same. they are puppets for the people who really run the country. which consist of the top 10 richest families of the u.s. duh think bout it. they had to bail us out of certain shit.
akanch994 0
#10, I think you're confusing Americans with people in general.
tany_fml 0
haha are you blonde and im not paying out blondes coz im blonde
redbluegreen 41
You made no sense.
shananigans 0
She did manage to prove her own point...
Blind_Ninja 0
Because she's blonde.
darkimmortal777 6
lmaooo
Andy_King 0
thanks 39 i didn't exactly catch that
tany_fml 0
who???