Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML
What's worse?
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML
Let people believe
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Top comments
tisvana20 6
What the hell indeed! I don't know, their light white skin, thick accents, and their ability on horses are easy to confuse... Wait... Never mind. I'm thinking about Prussians.
greenie213 23
She might be on to something. I've never heard of a Jewish Viking.
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Comments (193)
mdoncses 8
Just have her watch true blood Eric is a Viking. She'll have her mind blown lol.
MakeTodayADTR 20
Yeah you know the Jewish people always going around raping a pillaging... *Facepalm*
tyossett35 0
how is this a fml?
dennis96411 12
Because his girlfriend is stupid.
greenie213 23
Why do I always miss the moderated comments, dangit! EDIT: this comment doesn't belong here, and have no idea how it got here.
Sir_derpington 2
You got that username right ;)
whiteboy896 9
Not the brightest apple on the tree now is she..?
liv_graham 7
I didn't know apples were a light source.
ImInYourFACEbook 8
37-Apple products. Great light source. 8)
beastseclipse 9
Because apple products are apparently found on trees.
drkate25 30
Not the sharpest crayon in the box. A few sandwiches short of a picnic. Not the brightest skittle in the bag.
Jaxx66 21
130- The cheese 'dun slid off this one cracker!
thehipster 3
I didn't know that people had conversations about extinct people this often...
Shrike 24
By "this often", you mean the single time mentioned in the FML?
RawEndo 1
Good pick. You can keep her in her place
ICastillo 25
They Can't be pretty and smart Op...so I hope she looks like Scarlett johansen...
BrimfullOfAsher 20
It's easy to confuse the two, but there's a big difference: Vikings have the horns on their helmets while us Jews have them on our heads.
swedishviking 3
Actually the horns are not correct real Vikings wore helmets but not with horns
Judahsh 8
Well I'm Jewish, and unless they grow in later, we don't have horns. I wish i did though; that would be really cool. And wings.
1Dluvva 0
She must be blonde