Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was complaining to my friend how I was doing all the work in my group, and that they were getting all the credit. Her response? "It's OK, you're doing a shitty job anyway." FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I couldn't say a single sentence without being interrupted or having the conversation hijacked into a monologue of past grievances by family members against people they have issues with. And they wonder why I hide in my room all the time… FML
Today, I asked my friends what they thought was my biggest problem. All of them responded, "You're boring." I don't deny it, and I certainly did ask, but… Ouch. FML
Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
Today, I realized I could say nothing in my home without being interrupted, talked over, or the subject derailed into a 30 minutes monologue by my housemates. And they wonder why I'm so quiet all the time… FML
Today, while teaching my history class, a girl asked me where North America was. She lives in North America. FML
Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML
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Top comments
YayFlameWarz 9
Uganda be kidding me!
hansbo 6
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
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Comments (289)
DocBastard 40
I always wonder the same thing about Canadians and Americans. It gets so cold during the winter - why don't you all just move to Florida?
teejayx7 0
I have the IQ of a shit straight out of Satan's ass. Halp, pls.
TheDrifter 24
It's the cold weather and scattered population that gives us our sense of humor. Us Canadians move to Florida in our sixties, once our Canadian traits are firmly ingrained.
Heinousness 0
Your kidding, right? Right?
alycion 39
They are! I see more tags around from there then Florida tags this time of year.
swearmonkey 0
^mockingjay!
heyred 11
Because Florida is a hurricane magnet.
KiddNYC1O 22
We beat the winter this time. At least here in New York City.
DocBastard 40
Heinous - if your question was directed at me, then yes. Yes. Oh, and it's "you're".
twilightluvr101 4
20, if that's true u must be from florida, I mean what other excuse would u have for an idiotic comment like that
xZoeAmethystx 12
Because we Canadians have free health care.
kay2810 9
Because of the free health care xD
HeartOfLead 24
Woaw now! Let's not get irrational.
Commander223 9
Florida is the penis of America
GODert 8
It's called economics and the job market
danishbagel 3
Cool story ^^
falon142012 22
you know Florida is in America, right?
SignUpisntcool 3
138- I love your picture.
DocBastard 40
Falon and Jay Bee - Oh my gosh, Florida is part of America? Gee I had no idea. Thanks so much for the geography lesson! The reason NO ONE other than you two twits bothered to mention it is because it's plainly obvious I was making a joke. But thank you so much for making me point that out, thus RUINING the joke. ******* hell. Jay Bee - I see you're new here. I'm not. I ALWAYS think before I post. I can't say the same for you.
greenmen 12
Jay BEE needs to stay in her Bee Comb
Melvar_10 3
Internet trolls will eat him alive? Bitch please, he make us have a good time. We eat people like YOU alive :D
Pufferfish78 5
Winter is not so bad here. Once it hits -40C you can't feel anything anyways! :P
twilightluvr101 4
@83: yeah we did! 73°F today!!!
MsMeiriona 2
Because Florida is full of batshit people, claiming they don't need to pay taxes because they're a resident of the Kingdom of Heaven, trying to smuggle snakes and turtles out of Miami airports in their pants, liquidfying the dead, coming into their drug hearings with a sweatshirt diagraming how to make meth, do I have to get the list?
Heinousness 0
Docbastard, I hate people who correct my grammar.
koolkat27 13
Us Minnesotans would rather just turn the heater on than move to Florida where it's humid as hell in the winter.
Salzxx 11
and this is relevant how?
Kirlyfoo 9
KONY!!! PLOW!!!!!
trendkilla254 4
didnt the jews wander the desert for 40 years? walk the **** out!
DocBastard 40
It only took that long because Moses was too proud to admit he was lost and ask for directions.
DKjazz 20
Men. *sigh*
skyeyez9 25
And the jews kept complaining about they were hot, hungry thirsty...and whining how come God brought them out of Egypt only to die in the desert. Due to constant bitching God, made them wander for 40yrs.
mjew 7
What's that supposed to mean?
draegbomb 5
Why were the Jews in the desert for 40 years? They heard someone dropped a quarter.
RedPillSucks 33
And he lost the other 6 commandments.
goddamniluvme 0
It means exactly what it states. Leave the place where there isn't any food nor work, or a war zone. I believe ur lacking in the common senses department..... Idk
anarchistpunk 3
That just goes to show just how helpful their god is.
Redoxx_fml 22
Is their name by chance Patrick Star?
crymore007 11
We should take the African children, and push them somewhere else!
Heinousness 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You two are funny!
KiddNYC1O 22
Firmly grasp it.
nofearjenshere 12
Thank you for making my day, 68. :D
unoffensivename 0
This would be better if his comment was 24th
revanche 2
114-know what is funnier then 24?..........25 Trollface.png
SignUpisntcool 3
"Patrick, don't you have somewhere else to be stupid!" "not until four."
SignUpisntcool 3
Oh, Africa's east, I thought you said weast.
Bryceps 4
If that was the solution, everyone would just live on Mars. Most of our planet is Hell on earth, thanks to selfish and evil people.
robinhood007 9
And you don't think that might just happen to Mars too when all the stupid and evil people tag along? That's the spirit, lets ruin our own planet AND another one!
skyeyez9 25
Living on Mars will be like the movie Total Recall, and there is a warlord there to sell you oxygen. If you don't pay, he shuts it off to your house....your eyes bug out of your head and you explode.
tdog567 0
If the whole world sucks, why do we care about fixing Africa and just fix our own country?
thisbitchlys 0
well thats an option.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Your friend sounds intelligent.
trendkilla254 4
@17 did I mean dessert?
DocBastard 40
Desert - dry, often sandy place Dessert - yummy after-meal treat No, you did NOT mean "dessert".
perdix 31
Yes, the Jews were walking around on a giant cheesecake for 40 years. And a shtickle of halvah?
DKjazz 20
So, during the day, the cheesecake was in the oven, and during the frigid desert night, it was in the refrigerator cooling off. Makes sense, since it was such a huge cheesecake. And the "mana" Exodus mentioned, the stuff that sustained the Hebrews, must have been bits of cheesecake.
desireev 18
I don't know what kind of cheesecake you've been eating, but any cheesecake I've made or eaten wasn't baked in the oven.
kianabanannna 21
I'm not sure it's politicaly correct to talk about putting the cheesecake the jews were walking on in the oven...
immaMonsta 8
Your friend is quite the problem solver! Who says being simple minded isn't a good thing...
nofearjenshere 12
You a Monsta
KimberKittyMFC 1
docbastard: Maybe we just vent. F FL, I enjoy actually experiencing the seasons.