Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
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Comments (219)
Devyn16 0
omg! I would cry if I found a spider in my underwear!!
The_Great_One 0
That Spider likes Pie.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Not unless a dick is referred to as pie, in slang terms.
TOL_fml 6
Spider dick, spider dick, does whatever a Spider dick does! Can he swing from a web? Yes he can cause he's a dick!.....well a spider dick;)
Drspoofty 0
Spiders, the new more advanced form of crabs
icrest80 4
ive already seen this fml before just this is reworded...
TH3_B345T 0
F. YOUR. LIFE. I hate spiders.
GiggidyPants 0
it would have been freakier if sasquatch was hiding in his drawers
THEgleek 0
wat kind of spider?
Zahara17 0
if you can't feel a ******* spider in you underwear there is something very wrong down there
tails9888 5
lol at your name, dickwebs.