Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
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Top comments
_rawrasaur_ 0
Would have loved to see your face at the moment you realised.
f_my_life88 0
Did it taste like chicken?
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Comments (104)
_electricbonbon 0
YDI FOR BEING A NINJA.
SpitFyre 0
Eh, a little extra protein never hurt.
oopsie_daisy8446 0
troll says om nom nom.
DestineeSaysss 0
I was totally eating when I read this.. YDI for ruining my lunch.. Just kidding! FYL
SookMauNoots 0
the fly wud fly away
tenkenshi 2
Your fly killing skills has reached Obama level!!
xxXChiiXxx 2
Perhaps you'll die! ;D
cramazing 0
anyone who says absentmindedly isnt a dumbblonde hon
Hockeylover87_71 0
gahh, i hate it when people call other people hon, hun, or hunny... unless you are related, god that drives me crazy!! by the way, that was absolutely awesome, OP!! :)
Shawty15 0
karma is a bitch :)