Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.
Malevise 0
YDI for being annoying.
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Comments (160)
lexxiii 17
As i was reading this, i pictured a 5-year old in my head.
tummycat 0
sounds like my wonderful parents: tv first, kids second :/
TishaPort 0
it was kismit!
YourAddictionx 9
YDI for being an idiot and lying upside down and chewing gum and singing all at the same time & for being Direspectful to your parents.
Justy101 23
You sound like a disrespectful and rude little brat. YDI
BeClassy_BeMe 3
dick
gman90210 18
What's wrong with kids these days back talking and not behaving?
Cathrin 26
Karma bites, doesn't it? YDI
evhrocks876 4
YDI for not paying attention to football
xRezSynn 15
You were being disrespectful and annoying, YDI.