Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML
Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
Today, I realized I look better with a Hitler moustache than any other facial hairstyle. FML
Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML
Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML
Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, to save money, I tried following a YouTube tutorial to trim my beard myself. Halfway through, the clippers slipped, and now I have a huge chunk missing in the middle of my chin. I tried to even it out, but it just got worse. Now I look like I lost a fight with a Flymo. FML
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Top comments
fatass123 0
That's the best FML in quite a while. I spit out my drink when I read this. Make sure you ask somebody to pick up a new razor for you. Or at least make sure you don't go to "Goldberg's Pharmacy"
mark_evans_fml 0
Scissors, silly.
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Comments (116)
beard_me 0
that's why you never shave your beard. that's ****** karma if i've ever seen it
Darkangels101 0
Don't worry, Charlie Chaplin had the same mustache
flask_fml 0
Plug in the razor and wait 20 minutes for the battery to charge. Tada. Still, it was a funny story.
cal27 0
How exactly does one shave a beard into a mustache?
Proxgotsthafia 0
According to what I've read here on FML, nearly 80% of all males (apparently) shave their facial hair to look like a Hitler 'stache.
RHK_fml 0
tired of reading different variations of this FML.
adelaide_evening 0
Do you have knives? Real men shave with knives. What do you think they used before they had hand held razors? You might need to watch some civil war era movies to learn how to do it right though.
TryToBeKind 0
Just go buy a regular razor (or go into a hotel, pretend you're a guest, and say you'd like one of their courtosey razors. :-) Either way, it's a funny story to tell whomever you get the razor from.
urrka 0
walk into a store with a scarf over your face and buy some new batteries! or a real razor
bananamanama 0
Draw the rest of it on and go to the store :P